Building your Self-Love Muscle
Posted on June 11, 2017
Not too long ago I pulled my back. The story begins with me dancing around in my apartment to an old 80s tune. “Burning down the house”. I am having one of those moments when you feel unstoppable. I decided my living room needed a make-over and so I put my designer hat on and began to shuffle furniture around. I wanted the space to feel sparse and yet laden with crazy artistic energy. I am a writer! I say to myself and this space is going to reflect that. A full smile appeared on my face. My sacred space was starting to look perfect. Everything was going as planned except for one little thing. My A/C needed to be moved from the living room into my storage space. I had been meaning to get a friend to help me move it. “But why wait?” I thought to myself. “You can do this!” and so I did.
Just as I was almost at the finish line, I felt something in my lower back turn. Ow, I could barely move. I slowly made my way back to the living room and laid flat on my yoga mat staring up at the ceiling. I felt defeated. I turned off the Talking Heads on my stereo and in my mind. All was silenced except for the thumping of my lower back. “Darn it! So now what?” I decided to go inward.
This is what the process of self-love has been for me so far. Just when I think I have reached that ever so sweet spot of self-acceptance, another pain-body appears (aka the shit that comes up that you don’t want to face). I am told healing is like the unravelling of an onion with all its layers. I would add and all its tears. I hope when I leave this world I will do so smiling. For now, I want to write about the in-between; because I believe it is in these moments that we grow and learn from one another.
This blog is about self-love and my journey into the unknown of its terrain. What led me to become fascinated with self-love? It wasn’t a cognitive choice of sorts so much as a throttle, a shove from the good Lord above. Perhaps so I could learn to fly. I am building my self-love muscle. I share my reflections, interviews and poetry with you in the hopes you find some light. Some warmth in knowing you are not alone on your journey of self-discovery. Your feedback is also a way for me to know, I am not alone in mine. Namaste.